The Gorilla
Gorilla veteranus
"Mm."
DANGER
Warning: this website will not get you fit.
TRAIN HARD.
LAUGH MORE.
Box humor, articles for training with a bit more sense, and two books for people who pay, voluntarily, to suffer.
Or take the box-animal test. Or build today's session in the WOD generator.
EASY DAY.SURE?↑ The Gorilla and the Meerkat. Do not look the Gorilla in the eye.
Rule 1: If a friend says "you have to try it" with a glint in their eye, be suspicious.Rule 2: The first class is free. By the third, you are paying in soreness.Rule 3: If a workout is named after a person, it is not a tribute. It is a warning.Rule 4: The coach is always right. And when they are not, they have the clock.Rule 5: If you cannot spot the try-hard in the gym, it is you.Rule 6: Every movement gets better with practice. Except the burpee.Rule 7: RX is two letters. Physiotherapist is fifteen. And they charge per session.Rule 8: Nobody leaves the gym. At most, they change their time slot.Rule 9: Wash the knee sleeves. For you, for everyone else, and for humanity.Rule 1: If a friend says "you have to try it" with a glint in their eye, be suspicious.Rule 2: The first class is free. By the third, you are paying in soreness.Rule 3: If a workout is named after a person, it is not a tribute. It is a warning.Rule 4: The coach is always right. And when they are not, they have the clock.Rule 5: If you cannot spot the try-hard in the gym, it is you.Rule 6: Every movement gets better with practice. Except the burpee.Rule 7: RX is two letters. Physiotherapist is fifteen. And they charge per session.Rule 8: Nobody leaves the gym. At most, they change their time slot.Rule 9: Wash the knee sleeves. For you, for everyone else, and for humanity.
CALENDAR
Where Spain is racing
CROSSFIT / CROSSTRAINING
WODFEST Salou
6–8 November 2026
Salou
CROSSFIT / CROSSTRAINING
360 El Templo y Arucas 360
7 November 2026
Las Palmas de Gran Canaria
CROSSFIT / CROSSTRAINING
9º aniversario La Colmena
7 November 2026
Sevilla
HYBRID
Battle Hybrid Race Los Realejos
7 November 2026
Los Realejos
ARTICLES
To read between sets
WITHDRAWINGS!
THE BOOK
Manual de supervivencia del adicto al WOD
Pagas por sufrir. Te duelen hasta las pestañas. Y encima dices que te encanta.
Este manual no te va a poner en forma. Te ayuda a sobrevivir a la clase de prueba, al idioma del box, al coach que cuenta mal, a la fauna del gimnasio y a la cena familiar en la que juras que no es una secta.
- ✓Más de 60 ilustraciones en blanco y negro.
- ✓Tests, un bingo para la clase y el excusómetro.
- ✓Las 20 reglas de supervivencia y un diploma de adicto.
- ✓Humor ilustrado. No es un plan de entrenamiento.
Tapa blanda · 132 pages · Price on Amazon.es, October 2026
COACH-TO-ENGLISH
What they say
and what it means
The coach speaks your language. Just not exactly. Tap each card.
FIELD GUIDE
The gym wildlife
Every gym is an ecosystem. There are predators, prey, and someone who never puts the bar away.
The Meerkat
Suricata novatus
"Sorry, is this one for me?"
DANGER
The Wolf Grandma
Canis abuelita
"Come on, dear, this is a stroll."
DANGER
The Peacock
Pavo selfiensis
"Wait, it didn't record. Do I go again?"
DANGER
The Bull
Bos maximus
"Who touched my plates?"
DANGER
The Hyena
Crocuta carcajada
"HA HA HA I'M DYING HA HA."
DANGER
The Raccoon
Procyon magnesius
"Any chalk left?"
DANGER
The Sloth
Bradypus tardanzus
"Have you started already?"
DANGER
Which animal are you? Take the test
Some species are missing. They live in the manual.
SCIENTIFIC INSTRUMENT
The excuse-o-meter
Everyone misses a session sometimes. Not every excuse is worth the same. This instrument, refined after years of field research, measures how believable it is.
YOUR EXCUSE
«I have a meeting.»
CREDIBILITY
WHAT THE COACH HEARS
They saw the whiteboard.
